Thurday is Podcast Review Day: Lou Reads the Internet for You!

Lou Fernandez is a man with ambition. His goal is to be a professional voice actor, which is a rad goal. As he attempts to make it to the big time he has decided to practice his reading so as to refine his skills. However, rather than reading…anything else, he has made great efforts to read from the depths of the Internet.

And my friends, we all benefit from his efforts. Welcome to Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

I don’t understand things and I don’t think I want to.

Relevant Links:
Main Site! Features lots of different ways to find the podcast.
Listen on Stitcher!
Lou on Facebook!

Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! is a podcast of contradictions. On one hand you have Lou Fernandez, a dude of what I’m going to assume is a mild-mannered nature with a very nice voice. Deep without going into Barry White territory, soothing enough to sell me something without bothering me. I can imagine him narrating a yoga DVD or something like that.

Then you have the stuff he reads to you. Is horrifibad a strong enough imaginary word to describe to you the content of this podcast?  I have reviewed other podcasts that focus around the “Atrocity Tourism” shtick of finding gross things and reading them but yeesh. Here there be dragons.

If you are familiar with the podcast The F Plus then I can tell you with sincerity that it is more tame than Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! Seriously, this is a view into the unvarnished interior of some messed up people.

So do I like this podcast? Is the smooth voice enough to pave over the horror-show content? Well, yes. For one, you feel WAY BETTER about yourself as a human being after listening to the weird stuff people get up to in their day-to-day lives. I’d recommend this podcast as an occasional listen, because you really do need to maintain at least a shred of faith in humanity somewhere in your head.

To be clear, Lou doesn’t truck with any of the stuff he reads and there is no sympathy for the psychopathic minds that decide one day to open a forum thread and chat about what drugs they put where on their body that week. He’s just a man with a good voice and a Something Awful account.

Content Rating: Explicit! The titles of the episodes will let you know exactly what you’re in for.

Average Episode Length: Ooh, it’s all over the place. Earlier episodes are quite short, just a few minutes each. Current episodes run around a half-hour long.

Drinking Game:  Practice your own melodious reading-aloud skills with the Fox on Socks drinking game.

Release Schedule:  Looks like there is a release about twice a month.

Music: A little zippy piece of music that I assume comes with a copy of Garage Band. I love it! It’s got a beat you can dance to and remains charming after several listens.

Unintentionally Good Part:  I’m assuming my expression of dawning horror as I listen to the various stories and admissions people put on the Internet. Holy crap, y’all. I think I strained my eyebrows after I lifted them so many times in disbelief. There was one episode where I had this open-mouthed scowl going on because I couldn’t deal with what I was hearing.  WHO DOES THIS STUFF?

Unintentionally Bad Part:  The only thing that trips me up is that there’s no change in tone when Lou goes from reading an excerpt to his own thoughts or comments. Makes me do a double take from time to time.

Unrelated rating: Two stairs from your house out of three.


Thursday is Podcast Review Day! The Alton Browncast

[AUTHOR’S NOTE: If there’s one thing I enjoy, it is getting people to enjoy things that I already enjoy. I love podcasts to pieces as a way to help get through the workday, fill up the background while I do chores, or listen to on a long car trip. I have been doing podcast reviews at another site for a while, but I have a sneaking suspicion that my audience is 90% Russian Spambots.

The other 10%? My supportive relatives. Hi, relatives!

To kick off the new Podcast Thursday around here, I’ve decided to give you one of my favorite reviews from the previous site. If you have your own podcast, then I’d love to give it a listen! I only review the podcasts that I want to spread around, so you’ve no fear of negative reviews from me. Being snarky is fun, but I won’t tear down someone’s efforts just for entertainment. Hit me up in the comments with a link! Even if you don’t have your own podcast, I’d love to hear some suggestions or what you think about the podcast I reviewed!

Please enjoy my review of The Alton Browncast.]

The Alton Browncast

If you’re anything like me, then the next best thing to actually eating food is watching someone else deal with food and food-related objects. Food Network is one of the last channels I watch on an actual TV over actual cable television, and my favorite show has always been Good Eats. The show has a devoted Tivo folder, I loved his Feasting on Asphalt and Feasting on Waves and all that good stuff he’s been on.


Wonders of wonders, miracles of miracles~

Sorry, I just really like Alton Brown. He taught me a lot about cooking, not that I actually apply any of it to my boxed lasagna, but I still felt good learning about it.

Go ahead and preheat your oven to 350F, then turn that thing off because you’re going to listen to The Alton Browncast.

TV Host and Foodist Alton Brown reviews recent food news, chats with celebrities about their culinary passions, takes calls from listeners, and basically does whatever he flippin’ wants for 45 minutes.

Relevant Links:
Main Podcast Site, via Nerdist! This site also serves as an archive.
RSS Feed!
Get the podcast via iTunes!
Alton’s Twitter!   He replies to tweets by writing out a response on a Post-It and taking a picture of it! Hee!

The Alton Browncast provides host Alton Brown (GO FIGURE, RIGHT?) a lovely little venue to talk about what really interests him in the food world. He will discuss recent food-related news, interview fellow creative chefs and food crafters, and answer cooking questions from his listening audience. It’s a nicely balanced little podcast, shifting easily between topics as Alton delves into his knowledge and passion for all things food. If you like his personality on any of the plethora of shows he’s been on you will find more of the same in this podcast.

I gotta tell you right now, buttermilk and Cap’n Crunch cereal? Those things don’t go together.

Content Rating: Clean, and I really can’t imagine this podcast ever being explicit.

Average Episode Length: Set your timer for just a smidgin over an hour. You’ll want the toothpick to be clean, with only a few moist crumbs sticking to it when you test for doneness.

Release Schedule:  Once a week, with the release date most likely to be a Friday.

Unintentionally Good Part:  Listening to Bobby Flay’s story about making “queso” at his wife’s behest. Cute story.

Unintentionally Bad Part: Bad part, bad part, is there a bad part? Sorry, I’m an Alton Brown fan, so he gets a clean pass.  #@#$%!$ SLURPING DURING AN ICE CREAM TASTING SERIOUSLY THAT IS THE WORST NOISE IN MY EARS.   Aaaaaaargh okay, okay, I found a bad part! I give!

Auwgh! Hate that noise.

Unrelated rating: Two of those little yeast puppets from Good Eats out of three.

Same Thing Made New

I am a sucker for New Year Resolutions. I can’t help it! The feeling of rebirth, the excitement and melancholy of the holidays being in the past but the future being within my grasp! The desire to make of myself a better person!

I don’t reserve resolutions for January, and tend to make them through the year as they are called for. Last year I threw a few into the middle of the year that worked (reduced soda intake, floss regularly) as well as several that didn’t (start regular workout schedule, keep up with filing stuff).  I bet I even have a 2013 New Years resolution post… let me see… HA I TOTALLY DID ONE. Do I know myself or what? Here’s the general gist of the 2013 list:

  1. No, seriously, read more. – I will be striving again for a minimum of 52 books read this year.  This Christmas I was fortunate enough to be given a Kindle, so I really have no excuse not to literally have a selection of books to read in my hand at any given moment.  If you’d like, you can friend me on Goodreads at the username “Muchandquick”.
  2. Participate in W1S1. to increase short story production. – There is a nifty new widget-thing on my site that leads to information about “W1S1″, which is short for “write one, sub one”.  Participants agree that they will complete a short story AND submit a short story on an either weekly or monthly basis, no excuses.  The W1S1 front page has the quote,
    “An improvement on NaNoWriMo for serious writers.”
    Jonathan Laden, Daily Science Fiction
    Which sounds pretty good to me.  It is an on-your-merit venture, where your reward in successfully participating is to reap a more productive writing schedule.  I think it sounds like fun, and I know that I perform much better when I have an established timeline.  It also provides a chance to talk to other writers about their experiences, which is always a good time.
  3. Get published in a SFWA publication, or get paid professional rates. – Self-explanatory.  My pie-in-the-sky dream would be to join SFWA this year, but I ain’t banking on it actually happening.  Still, I feel like it is a good goal to work towards.
  4. Weekly updates on this blog and my podcast reviews. – Because schedules are meant to be adhered to.
  5. Finish the damn novel.– Because I need to and that’s pretty much all there it to it at this point.


So how did I fare throughout 2013? Let’s check my progress against my intentions:

1. Read more – MODERATE SUCCESS Yes, I feel like I did read more throughout the year. According to Goodreads I read 20 books in 2013, compared to 13 in 2012. By the numbers, that’s an improvement. Was it enough? No, and I can do better. An author must read to improve and expand and all that good stuff, so once again I am challenging myself to read a book a week.

2. Participate in W1S1 to increase short story production – FAIL. I did not managed to succeed in a single month of W1S1. I will openly admit that I have no self-discipline, and did not adhere to any sort of schedule that would have allowed me to meet this challenge. Yes, I will be reattempting in 2014 and trust me when I say I have a battle plan that should help me out a lot on this second attempt (more in future posts about this).

3. Get published in a SFWA publication, or get paid professional rates. – HOT DAMN, I DID THIS ONE! My story “The Witch’s Cat’ was published in Daily Science Fiction, a bonifide SFWA publication. Good on me, I forgot I made this resolution.

4. Weekly updates on this blog and my podcast reviews. – FAIL. Did you know I write podcast reviews? No? That’s okay, no one does. However, I plan on importing my reviews to this blog and picking them back up. I also intend on maintaining a weekly schedule of updates, so look forward to that my dear readers! I look forward to providing you with delightful content and always love reading your comments.

5. Finish the damn novel.  SUCCEED. This is in reference to a WIP of mine. The first draft is officially finished and await the arduous editing process in which I try to make it readable by other humans that are not me. Wish me luck!

So what does 2014 bring in terms of my resolutions? In short:

  1. Read more books – no set number, but I do need to read more and look forward to this task.
  2. Actual participate in W1S1 – I will be enforcing this schedule in my daily life and hope to have 12 short stories at the end of the year. Wouldn’t that be wild?
  3. Sell at least 3 stories – I feel this is a modest, but possibly obtainable goal.
  4. Weekly update schedule for this blog – because its just too pretty to ignore.
  5. Do a push up – not writing related but I think it would be cool to be able to do a push up.

What are your resolutions or goals for the new year? I’m looking forward to cheering you on!